


fuyugomori

by okusawa



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Happy Ending, I'm bad at tags and summaries, Slow Burn, Sort Of, all the girls make cameos, it's not a sad story i promise, misaki-centered
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:01:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21978520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okusawa/pseuds/okusawa
Summary: 巣籠りfuyugomoriwinter’s sleep“Nee, Mii-kun,” Hagumi starts. “We haven’t seen much of Michelle lately. Where is she?”“Well,” Misaki says, avoiding Hagumi’s eyes. “It’s winter, right? She’s hibernating.”“Hibernating?”“Yes, sleeping.”***Misaki's nearing the end of her second year at Hanagakisawa, and something doesn't feel quite right. Some things are ending, some things are missing, and Misaki... hibernates.
Relationships: Okusawa Misaki/Tsurumaki Kokoro
Comments: 8
Kudos: 45





	fuyugomori

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first bandori fic! Written in small breaks while tiering. It takes place a year after Kimi Ga Inakucha. I follow canon up until that event, I think.
> 
> i take a lot of liberties with Misaki's back story... anyway I hope this is enjoyable, at least.

1\. 悪い

_hakanai_

fleeting

Misaki is sitting on the courtyard during lunchtime, outside Hanasakigawa Girl’s Academy, when she first notices it. A leaf falling down from a tree. She isn’t sure why it caught her eye, but she sees it happening, as if in slow motion. It’s yellow, and looking a bit brittle even at a distance. She sees how it loops through the air, falling, falling, falling until it rests atop the ground, where it joins dozens of other leaves. 

She almost laughs at herself when the first thought that pops into her head is Kaoru’s voice. “Fleeting, isn’t it?” she would say, were she sitting and watching the scene next to Misaki. But she guesses that after almost two years of spending time with Seta Kaoru would rub something off on her.

But it is fleeting, Misaki thinks as she picks up the yellowed leaf, pinching its stem between her thumb and pointer finger, twirling it close to her face. For some reason she can’t explain, it makes her throat close up a little. 

“Okusawa-san?” the voice startles Misaki, making her look up from her seat on the ground to see Sayo standing next to her.

“Sayo-senpai,” she greets, smiling up at the third year student. Absentmindedly, Misaki places the leaf on her songwriting notebook that is sitting on her lap, closing it, since clearly she is not getting any writing done right now. 

Sayo notices the movement though, and she smiles back apologetically. “Sorry to interrupt,” she says.

“It’s no problem,” Misaki replies, waving her hand dismissively. She hasn’t gotten any writing done in weeks, so it’s not like losing the last few minutes of their lunch break is gonna make any difference. She stands up, brushing off some dust off her skirt, and presses her notebook to her chest. “I was about to head back inside anyway.”

“Oh, good,” Sayo says, her posture relaxing a little. “Shall we?” she continues, motioning towards the entrance of the school, awkward and formal as always. It makes the corners of Misaki’s mouth twitch into a small smile.

“Of course,” she says, beginning to walk next to Sayo, who looks a little distracted. “Was there anything you needed?”

“Oh,” Sayo says. “Yes. I just wanted confirmation that you and the rest of Hello, Happy World will be attending the planning session on Saturday afternoon for our next live show.”

“Yes,” Misaki replies, frowning a little. “I texted Minato-senpai about it last night, though. Did she change her number or something?”

A light blush dusts Sayo’s cheeks and nose at Misaki’s answer, effectively piquing Misaki’s curiosity. She’s known Sayo for a while now, and she thinks she’s gotten to know the blue haired girl well. As well as Sayo’s introverted self would allow, that is, beginning a casual albeit awkward friendship. She’s loosened up a bit as time has passed, giving herself the chance to relax around other people, but Misaki can tell that she still struggles with letting her feelings show, and approaching people about the thoughts that are actually going through her head. 

“She hasn’t,” Sayo replies. “Changed her number, I mean. I’m sure she received your message. I just… wanted to make sure.”

“Of course,” Misaki says, tilting her head a little, trying to puzzle out what are Sayo’s true intentions. She shoots the taller girl another smile, with a knowing look in her eye that makes Sayo blush harder. “Are you nervous about it?”

“What? No,” Sayo says, shaking her head. Misaki sees right through it, though, and Sayo can probably tell. But it’s alright, Misaki thinks, she’ll let the guitarist pretend. Sayo sighs, crossing her arms over her chest as they walk inside the school. “I just want everything to be perfect, since it most likely will be Roselia’s last show before exams begin and the whole graduation process too.”

“Oh,” Misaki breathes out, eyebrows tightening into a frown. 

“It has to be perfect,” Sayo repeats. 

“I’m sure it will be,” Misaki reassures her, trying to sound comforting. “Hello, Happy World will be giving it their all. We’re sharing the stage with Roselia, after all.”

Sayo’s face softens, her green eyes shining a little. She clears her throat before she speaks again. “We’re expecting nothing less.”

“As you should,” Misaki says, nodding. Sayo nods back, and it looks like she wants to say something else, but the bell signifying the end of their lunch rings out, echoing over the noise and chatter of the rest of the students shuffling about.

“I suppose I will see you on Saturday then, Okusawa-san,” Sayo says instead, turning to head towards her locker.

“Until Saturday,” Misaki says, waving a goodbye before she starts changing to her indoor shoes and walks hurriedly to her classroom, not wanting to be late to her next class.

Misaki sighs, slowing down as she enters the hallway where the second year classrooms are on. The last few students are shuffling to their classrooms. 

Misaki hears her footsteps coming up behind her before she sees her coming.

“Misakiiiii~!” Kokoro squeals, wrapping her arms around Misaki’s shoulders. The warmth of Kokoro’s weight on her back makes Misaki flush, and with practiced ease, she ignores the familiar swoop in her stomach that Kokoro brings with her.

“Kokoro…” Misaki mumbles, fighting back a smile. “Not so loud.”

The blonde girl giggles, removing her arms from around Misaki to turn her around. Kokoro’s eyes are shining as always, the color of a field of sunflowers. Misaki adverts her eyes, checking to see if their teacher has already arrived at the classroom.

“Where were you at lunch today?” Kokoro asks. “We looked everywhere for you! Hagumi and I did something super fun!”

“ _Hai, hai_ ,” Misaki says, grabbing Kokoro’s wrist and pulling her towards their classroom. “You can tell me all about it after class.”

“Does that mean you’re coming over to my house?” Kokoro asks, excitement seeping into her words.

“Sure,” Misaki concedes. “As long as you let me do some homework before we do… anything else.”

“Yaaaay!” Kokoro cheers. “Then you can show me how the new song is coming.”

“Eehhh…” Misaki says with a grimace as they take their seats on the row by the window, Kokoro on the desk in front of her. “I haven’t made much progress.”

“That’s okay!” Kokoro says, turning on her chair to look at Misaki with her billion yen grin. “I have a few ideas! We can work on it together!”

“Sure,” Misaki says. Her writer’s block has been terrible lately, so a songwriting session with Kokoro might not hurt. 

But honestly, Misaki should have known the Tsurumaki heiress would get distracted as soon as they got home. 

“Misaki!” Kokoro says, later that day, as they walk through the parlor at her extravagant home. Though Misaki has been coming here often during the past two years, the luxurious Tsurumaki mansion has never stopped eliciting a feeling of surprise from her, with its tall walls and golden chandeliers, and of course, the sometimes overwhelming presence of the Suits.

“Okusawa-sama,” greets a Suit.

“Oh, Lin-san,” Misaki says, bowing a little. After having these people jump in on her life at the most random moments, Misaki figured she should get to know the people tending to Kokoro’s whims. “Good afternoon.”

“May I take your bag?” Lin-san says, moving to unburden Misaki from it.

“Oh,” Misaki says, trying to wave her off. “It’s okay, Kokoro and I are doing some homework.”

“Misakiiiii,” Kokoro insists, tugging Misaki by her sleeve now. “Let’s go do homework outside! On the trampoline!”

“Kokoro, I don’t think that’s a spot to do homework at,” Misaki says, but still allows Kokoro to drag her along to a corner of her massive backyard to where a trampoline stands, covered with some scattered leaves from the shedding trees around them. Misaki knows by now it’s sometimes best to pick her battles with Kokoro, occasionally giving in to her sometimes outlandish plans for their day.

“Look!” Kokoro exclaims, pointing at the leaves on her trampoline making a red, orange and yellow blanket over its surface. She quickly sheds her shoes and climbs on top of the trampoline, tiptoeing to its center so as to not disturb the leaves. She stands in the center and gives Misaki one of her crooked, mischievous smiles, with a beautiful glint in her eye. And then, she jumps, doing a flip in the air and landing easily, sending all of the leaves flying around her.

Kokoro squeals and giggles, watching all of the leaves dance around her as she jumps and spins midair. Misaki smiles, letting out a soft chuckle before she leaves her bag on the grass, looking up at the other girl from the ground. 

“Kokoro,” Misaki says. “If you want me to get on with you, you need to stop jumping for a sec.”

Kokoro relents and moves to the spot where Misaki is at to help her up once she toes off her shoes. Kokoro grabs Misaki’s hand and doesn’t let go even when Misaki is already on the trampoline beside her. She shoots Misaki a grin before squeezing her hand and jumping, making Misaki bounce at her landing. Leaves tickle her toes and bits get stuck on her socks, as Kokoro continues to make her bounce a little.

“Come on, Misaki! Jump, not just bounce!” Kokoro says, landing forcefully centimeters away from Misaki, making her bounce higher than she has been, still tugging on Kokoro’s hand.

“Okay, okay,” Misaki says, regaining her balance as she untangles her hand from Kokoro’s and bends her knees. “It’s payback time.”

With all her might, Misaki jumps, curling into a ball in the air before bouncing near Kokoro’s feet, making the other girl bounce and giggle. With the momentum, Misaki jumps up to her feet and stumbling a little, leaves crushing under her toes. At the same time, she and Kokoro jump and land, the pressure on the trampoline’s surface causes them to bounce back into each other, foreheads bumping slightly.

Misaki laughs, rubbing the spot on her forehead, feeling a little breathless. “Sorry,” Misaki says, grabbing onto Kokoro’s shoulder to regain some balance. 

Kokoro just giggles in response, and when Misaki looks up to meet her eyes, she feels her heart stumble a little. 

“What?” Misaki says through a shy smile. “What are you looking at me like that for?”

“Nothing,” Kokoro says, in her usual cheerful tone. “You look so pretty when you laugh.”

“Oh,” Misaki breathes out, feeling heat curl up in her chest, blushing all the way up her neck. She removes her hand from Kokoro’s shoulder and twists her hands together. She looks down, feeling a bit embarrassed, and clears her throat. She takes a few steps back from Kokoro and drops herself into the trampoline to seat, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart.

“That’s not true,” Misaki says, picking up a leaf between her fingers and avoiding Kokoro’s gaze.

“It is!” Kokoro protests, bouncing down to sit in front of Misaki. “You look so pretty, you could be Miss Japan!”

“Yeah, right,” Misaki replies, noticing how her sarcasm goes completely over Kokoro’s head.

“I’m glad you agree,” Kokoro says, and her voice sounds soft. Misaki dares to take a look at her, and part of her really regrets doing so since she had only barely begun to get her heart to slow down.

This, Misaki thinks, is probably the worst thing about her predicament: being so in love with Tsurumaki Kokoro and having the object of her affections be completely oblivious about it. About the things she does to Misaki. About the way she makes her feel. Misaki has long since accepted this fact, that she’s in love with Kokoro. She thinks she might be an idiot for it, falling in love with the person least likely to reciprocate her feelings. She doesn’t think Kokoro might be that type of person anyway. The dating kind. Let alone the lesbian kind. And even if she were, why would she like Misaki back, anyway?

But sometimes, like right now, when Kokoro is looking at her like she’s the sole reason for her smile, Misaki’s foolish heart tries to beat out of her chest and into Kokoro’s hands. 

Misaki lets out a shaky exhale, trying to calm herself down, and distracts herself a little by rearranging her little hair brooch.

“We should do our homework,” Misaki says, getting on her knees to crawl to the edge of the trampoline, where there bags had been dropped earlier. When Misaki looks up, Lin-san is already there bag at hand for her. Misaki grabs Kokoro’s too, when offered.

Misaki gives Kokoro her bag, watching how Kokoro’s expression morphs into a pensive look, a finger on her chin.

“What is it?” Misaki asks.

“I have an idea! About how we can make math fun!” she declares, and Misaki just smiles.

# 🍃

Misaki doesn’t get home until after the sun has set that night, after having declined a ride from the Suits. She takes her shoes off at the genkan, and drops her backpack on the floor by the coat rack. She notices her stepfather’s shoes neatly set on the top of the shoe rack and winces a little. 

“ _Tadaima_ ,” Misaki calls lazily, feeling exhausted after another afternoon with Kokoro. It’s the good kind of exhaustion, muscles sore and relaxed from a good work out. At least she managed to get her homework done, not without multiple distractions courtesy of her friend. They ended up playing some tennis afterwards, in Kokoro’s private court. Not much headway was made on the songwriting, though.

“ _Oneeeeeeechan_ ,” Misaki hears her little brother reply, running towards the genkan to greet her. “ _Okaeri_!”

“Naoki-chan,” Misaki says, moving to ruffle her younger brother’s hair. He pushes her off, small frown on his face. At ten years old, he keeps insisting he’s too old for that type of gestures. 

“ _Neechan_ ,” he protests. “Stooop.”

“Alright, alright,” Misaki says, walking past her brother into the hallway. “Where’s Tomoyo-chan?”

“In the kitchen,” Naoki replies. “She’s having trouble with dinner.”

“I see,” Misaki says. Their apartment is relatively small, only two bedrooms and one full bathroom, a modest kitchen and living room. So making her way to help her sister doesn’t take Misaki that long.

“She’s making tamagoyaki,” Naoki continues. “But it smells like poop.”

“Shut up, Nao,” Tomoyo says, from her spot at the kitchen counter.

“Come on, it doesn’t smell like poop,” Misaki says, peering into the pan on the stove. “Did you add enough soy sauce?”

“ _Hai, hai_ …” Tomoyo says. “Half a teaspoon, like you said.”

“Mmm,” Misaki hums, turning to smile at her sister. The younger girl looks nervous, a blush beginning to color her cheeks. Tomoyo’s skin is a few shades darker than Misaki’s, like both her stepfather and Naoki. They all wear the same smile and grey eyes as their mother, though, equally as expressive, so it’s easy for Misaki to tell that Tomoyo is waiting for some sort of feedback. “It smells good.”

“They keep on getting destroyed,” Tomoyo says, handing her sister the cooking chopsticks. “Whenever I try to roll them.”

“You just have to wait until they cook a little more,” Misaki advises, poking the fluffy eggs. “The bottom has to look golden.”

“Ooh,” Tomoyo says, watching Misaki roll up the tamagoyaki perfectly.

“Now, you practice,” Misaki says, and hands the cooking utensils back to her sister. She’s eleven years old, learning how to cook simple things, and Misaki is happy to help her out. Especially since lately their mother has been taking on a lot of night shifts at the hospital, and dinner is almost always on them now. Misaki usually takes care of it, but Tomoyo has insisted she gets to do dinner on Thursday nights.

“Misaki,” she hears her stepfather’s voice from the entrance to the kitchen. She tries her best not to flinch, but she’s not sure she succeeded.

“He’s mad you’re home so late,” Naoki whispers, trying his best to be subtle while looking nervously between Misaki and his father.

“ _‘Tousan_ ,” Misaki says, shooting the older man a smile as she turns around to face him. She does this trying to placate Otonosuke, but she also knows her efforts are futile as she sees his pissed off face. Now, Misaki knows Otonosuke is a good man. Her mother married him, after all, and he’s been a good father to Misaki even when they’re not blood. He just has… quite a temper sometimes, especially when he gets home from work, tired from the day. He’s the kind of man that expects everything to be perfect in his house when he arrives, trying to find some comfort in a neat home and a hot meal, ready for him. 

“I don’t ask for much, Misaki,” he says, and Misaki agrees. A tidy living space, food on the table, those are not big things. However, Misaki also knows that lately she’s been slacking a little, getting home later than usual, ever since she joined Hello, Happy World. Not too much, at first, but Misaki can recognize she’s been getting home late a lot more often, and forget about the chores board on the living room wall. “Why are you home so late? We were waiting on you to start dinner.”

“I was at Kokoro’s house,” Misaki replies, looking apologetic, and adds, “I lost track of time.”

Misaki doesn’t miss the irritation that flashes in Otonosuke’s eyes at the mention of Kokoro. Words of previous arguments run through Misaki’s head. _A bad influence_ , Otonusuke calls Kokoro.

“Again?” Otonusuke says. Misaki opens her mouth, poised to reply but Tomoyo interjects before she can.

“ _Chichi_ , it’s fine,” Tomoyo says, after plating a decently rolled tamagoyaki and presenting it to her father. She looks proud, a big smile on her face. “Dinner is ready.”

For a second, Misaki thinks Otonusuke is going to make another comment. About Kokoro, or about how tamagoyaki is not proper dinner food. Instead, he just sighs. He gives Misaki a look, the “we’ll talk about this later” look. Misaki nods in response and helps Naoki set the table.

“They look really good, Tomoyo-chan,” Otonusuke says instead, squeezing Tomoyo’s shoulder and helping her set their old rice cooker at the table.

“ _Chichiii~, arigato_ ,” Tomoyo replies, preening under her father’s praise. “I hope they taste as good as Misaki’s.”

“I’m sure they’ll be better,” Misaki says, taking a seat.

“I doubt it,” Naoki mutters, poking with his chopsticks at his rolled omelette with a dubious look on his face. 

“Now, Naoki, be nice,” Otonusuke chides, while unbeknownst to him Tomoyo is sticking her tongue out at her brother from behind him. Misaki giggles.

“ _Itadakimasu_!” they all say once they’re all seated, and begin eating.

Dinner is uneventful, everyone sharing bits about their day while they eat. Misaki steers clear of mentioning Kokoro, not wanting to irritate her stepfather. They talk about their plans for the upcoming weekend, and Misaki just mentions that she is busy tomorrow, not that it’s because of band practice. And she says she’s meeting with Sayo-senpai on Saturday.

“Is she the young girl on the disciplinary committee?” Otonusuke asks, looking pleased with Misaki’s answering nod. “Good,” he continues. “Those are the kind of people you should be spending time with. Good students. Respectable people.”

Misaki suppresses an eye roll, and wonders what her father would think if he also remembered that Sayo-senpai is on a band, too. And she had her fair share of charming oddities, as well. But Misaki lets the dig at her friends go, for the sake of the semblance of peace they’ve built around the table.

After they’re done, Otonusuke sends the younger of his kids to take a bath and get ready for bed, while also instructing Misaki to help him out clearing the table and doing the dishes. Misaki has been expecting this, though, that Otonusuke would want to talk to her alone and rehash their previous conversation. He does that a lot, a man who never wants to let an argument go unfinished. He’s always been a “never go to bed angry with someone” person, but it doesn’t always work, as arguments can get prolonged for days. Or months. Like this particular disagreement.

Misaki starts on washing the dishes, passing them to Otonusuke so that he can dry them up and set them inside their cupboards. At first, there’s a very awkward silence surrounding them, as they both work on their respective tasks, listening only to the clang of the dishes and the running water. Misaki glances at the clock, and briefly wonders if she’ll have time to try and get some songwriting done.

Otonusuke clears his throat. Almost instinctively, Misaki tenses.

“Misaki…” her stepfather begins.

“I know,” she says back before he can add anything else. She should have known this wouldn’t stop him.

“Well, it seems like you don’t know, since you keep on refusing to listen,” Otonusuke says. “Or understand our situation.”

“I do--”

“You’re about to enter your third year,” Otonusuke interrupts. “You need to start getting serious.”

Misaki just sighs, passing her stepfather another clean plate, and letting the man ramble on. Sometimes, it’s no use to try and interrupt.

“You can’t keep wasting your time like this,” Otonusuke continues. “That _band thing_ will get you nowhere. It’s useless.”

Misaki scrubs the pan in her hands harder than she should, probably, but continues on trying her best to get the task done. Hopefully she’ll be able to leave this room soon, as she isn’t sure she’ll be able to keep quiet for long. She feels irrational irritation flare up in her chest. She doesn’t need to be lectured about this. She knows what it looks like, to be a member of Hello, Happy World. She doesn’t care about that, not anymore. It might look weird to people on the outside, but honestly, Misaki doesn’t know where she would be without it. The band. Her friends. 

“You need to either focus on your studies or try to get a job,” Otonusuke says. “Do something productive.”

“Productive, huh?” Misaki mumbles, picking up the last plate from the soapy sink. She doesn’t know why she says it, but the fact is that she does, and that it seems to cause a reaction on her stepfather.

“Yes, Misaki, _productive_ ,” he says forcefully, tossing the cleaning rag into the counter. He looks at Misaki sternly, a hand on the counter and another on his waist. “Not-- not running around in a stupid bear costume with the-- with the crazy rich girl.”

Misaki feels her fingers twitch, and she drops a ceramic plate onto the sink, hearing it shatter. It seems to startle Otonusuke, since the man stops speaking. As Misaki stares at the broken plate, smashed into pieces and scattered across the sink, she thinks, _fleeting, isn’t it?_

“It’s not stupid,” Misaki says quietly, and she doesn’t know why her voice catches in her throat. Why tears are threatening to spill from her eyes.

“What?” Otonusuke says, both irritation and worry in his voice.

Misaki clears her throat and schools her face into a neutral expression, finally daring to look at the man beside her. “Michelle is not stupid,” she says again, deciding to focus on the “easy” topic of the suit. She doesn’t know what she’d say if she were to talk about Kokoro and try to defend the blonde girl. Misaki’s stomach is currently housing about a thousand different emotions, swirling around uncomfortably. She doesn’t want to think about it.

Otonusuke sighs, directing his gaze at the ceiling, as if he were at a loss. He adjusts his posture, crosses his arms over his chest.

“I don’t understand why it has to be you in that ridicu-- that suit,” Otonusuke says after a while. 

Misaki just stares. She has no answer for that. Not one that would please her father, at least. She turns back to the sink, beginning to carefully pick up the shards of the broken plate.

“You don’t have to understand,” Misaki tells him, still not looking at him. “It’s none of your business.”

Otonusuke scoffs. “Of course it’s my business,” he says. “You’re my daughter.”

Misaki bites back a childish retort, one so often thrown out that it grows easily in the depths of her throat. She clears it instead, though, and decides to throw the broken plate unto the trash bin after wrapping it in old newspaper. An effective distraction, albeit momentary. 

Misaki dries off her hands and leans her back on the kitchen counter. Otonusuke is still staring at her. She tucks a wild strand of hair behind her ear.

“Is there anything else you wanted to say?” she says, as neutrally as possible.

“Now don’t give me that--”

“ _Tousan_ ,” Misaki interrupts in a soft voice. “Please.” 

There must have been something in Misaki’s eyes, because Otonusuke shakes his head, turning around in the kitchen.

“We’ll talk about this later,” he promises, looking at Misaki tiredly. “Go to bed.”

“ _Hai_ ,” Misaki says, watching as Otonusuke makes his way through their living room to the small balcony. He’s patting his pockets, looking for his pack and lighter. “Good night,” Misaki calls.

“Good night, Misaki,” Otonusuke replies before sliding the small door shut and turning to light up a cigarette.

Misaki finishes clearing up the residual mess in the kitchen, which isn’t really that much tonight, and she heads towards her room. It’s a decently sized room, with a tatami mat covering the floor and futons they roll open and close each night and morning. She shares it with her two little siblings, coincidentally the reason why she feels her heart soften as she enters their room. They’ve unrolled Misaki’s futon between theirs before she could, and to be completely honest, she has been dreading doing it, just a little. She feels tired, only wanting to sink into the hot bathtub and then just go to sleep.

Songwriting will have to wait another day, she guesses.

# 🍃

“Kokoro, I think that might be too dangerous,” Misaki says the next day. She shakes her head, knowing she will have to use her _stern voice_ to get her out of this one. It’s the only one that works, when it comes to dealing with her unpredictable bandmates. It has an 85% success rate, though. Which is good enough. Better than all of Misaki’s other diffusion tactics.

“I am not-- I mean, Michelle will not go into Happy Flight Mode inside a cramped concert venue.”

“Aww,” Hagumi says, disappointed. “It would have been so much fun, _nee_ , Kokoron?”

“No!” Misaki exclaims before Kokoro can reply. “What if she loses control of the flight course and hurts someone? Or if something goes wrong with the boosters and it sets something on fire?”

“Ahh, Misaki...” Kaoru says. “You are right.”

“Thank you,” Misaki says with a nod. One _sanbaka_ down, two to go.

“I would never do anything that might hurt the little kittens in the audience,” Kaoru continues, looking distraught with a hand over her heart. 

“Ohh, Mii-kun!” Hagumi says, a surprised look on her face. “You’re so smart. I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Well,” Kokoro says, with her ever-present soft smile on her face. “If someone gets hurt, it wouldn’t make everyone smile.”

“Exactly,” Misaki says, relieved. She looks at Kanon with a pleased grin on her face. The older girl gives Misaki a warm one back.

They’re all currently at Kokoro’s house after an uneventful band practice. Well, that’s not quite accurate, Misaki thinks. But at least it was uneventful by Hello, Happy World! standards. They’re supposed to be planning their performance for the joint concert, preparing all of the technical details for tomorrow’s meeting with the rest of the bands. And of course, it’s Misaki’s job to turn her bandmates’ ideas into something doable, at least. 

“Um, guys,” Kanon suddenly says, turning back to the rest of the table. “If you really want someone flying over the crowd, we could um, we could ask Michelle if she could make Kokoro fly again like in PoPiPa’s last self-sponsored live.”

Kokoro gasps, excited. “Misaki~,” she starts, looking at her with those big sparkling eyes. “Could you ask Michelle? Do you think she’d do that? Ahh, the last time we did it, it was so much fun! Michelle was smiling so big!”

Misaki vividly remembers that performance, and how her arms were sore for days afterwards due to pulling Kokoro off the ground with the rope. She also remembers how at the end of her flight, Kokoro hovered above her, her hand on Michelle’s paw. She recalls feeling the touch through the layers of fabric, somehow. But she knows it was probably in her head. 

Kokoro shines when she performs, in a different way than she usually does. It’s entrancing, magnetic. Misaki can never look away. So back then, when all of the shine was directed right to her face as Kokoro sang suspended in the air, Misaki was glad that the bear suit was hiding her expression. It must have been embarrassing, most likely.

“Alright,” Misaki says. At least that is an idea she knows they can actually pull off. “I’ll ask Michelle. I’m sure she’ll say yes.”

“Yaaay!” Kokoro says, holding her fists near her face, seemingly unable to contain her excitement. “ _Nee-nee_ , _mina_ , what do you think about firecrackers?”

Misaki sighs, fighting a smile. She imagines she can hear a bell in her head. Misaki vs the _Sanbaka_ , round two. 

# 🍃

“Let’s see who can jump the highest!” Kokoro challenges Hagumi, both standing on their socks on top of Kokoro’s bed.

“Alright!” Hagumi replies, brown eyes sparkling. They’re already on their sleep clothes, having decided to stay over at Kokoro’s house since their planning session ran late. Which Misaki feels she should have expected and planned for, but the past is the past, she supposes. She had quickly texted her parents, letting them know she was staying the night, and quickly turned off her phone. She just knows that if she had left it on, she’d probably not even get to sleep because her parents would probably not stop calling. 

“Wait, wait,” Kokoro says. “We have to say the cheer to get us hyped up!”

“You’re right! On three!” Hagumi exclaims. 

Misaki rolls her eyes fondly, as she folds her uniform to place it neatly on the table. She knows what’s coming next. Even Kaoru and Kanon join in, wishing the two silly competitors their best.

“Happy! Lucky! Smile! Yay!”

Misaki giggles sleepily, sitting down on one of Kokoro’s bean bags next to Kanon, watching her friends jump on Kokoro’s massive bed. 

“I think Hagumi jumped higher,” Misaki calls from her seat, eliciting a cheer from the redhead.

“No, no,” Kanon chimes in. “I think it was Kokoro. They jumped at different times, you see.”

“A tie,” Kaoru muses. “How fleeting.”

“Yaay!” Kokoro squeals, hugging Hagumi. “We both won!”

“Congratulations, Kokoron!” Hagumi exclaims, her eyes crinkled up in a huge smile. “Let’s go again!”

Misaki just shakes her head a little and smiles, observing her friends keep on jumping on the bed, giggling and squealing with glee. Moments like these are Misaki’s favorite, she thinks, when the five of them are together like this. Moments where she can observe peacefully, her heart blooming with warmth in her chest at her best friends’ happy faces.

She looks at Kanon sitting beside her, who has curled up on the bean bag she has claimed for herself, wrapping her arms around her knees and bringing them to her chest. She’s smiling, but she’s not looking at Misaki. Her gaze seems to be still directed towards their two hyperactive friends, apparently as enraptured as Misaki had been earlier. But there’s something about Kanon’s smile that makes something stir in Misaki’s chest. It’s… an odd smile, like she’s hiding something under it. It’s melancholic, at best, if Misaki were to describe it.

“Ahh, Kanon,” Kaoru begins, startling Kanon and Misaki both. “You have quite a fleeting look in your eye, as if you’re overcome with emotion. Dare I ask...? What thoughts are dancing around your mind to provoke such a smile?”

“Oh,” Kanon breathes out, eyes shifting around the room a bit nervously. “I--it’s nothing,” she replies. “I’m just thinking--I’m just happy to be with you all, that’s all.”

“Kano-chan-senpai!” Hagumi squeals, jumping off the bed and tackling Kanon into a hug. Misaki giggles, since it’s more like Hagumi is just sprawled on top of Kanon in her bean bag. “We’re happy you’re here!”

“Ha--Hagumi-chan,” Kanon says, cheeks coloring up and squeaking as Kokoro joins into their pile. “Kokoro-chan! So heavy! Fueee~!”

“We love you too, Kanon!” Kokoro says, eyes crinkled up with a smile.

“Guys,” Misaki says, noticing Kanon’s struggle. “Maybe give Kanon-san some room to breathe.”

“Misaki-chan, it’s okay,” Kanon says, managing a smile. Kokoro clambers off and shoots Misaki a curious look, but Hagumi stays in Kanon’s arms. She rests her head on Kanon’s shoulder, allowing the older girl to comb her fingers through Hagumi’s red locks. They’ve grown a little, Hagumi’s hair just about reaches her shoulders now. Kanon looks content to have Hagumi sprawled on top of her. Misaki has gotten used to their friends’ love of hugs and physical affection, so she’s sure the older girl has also accustomed to it. Misaki thinks Kanon might even have grown to love it and crave it, judging by the warm look in her violet eyes.

Briefly, Misaki meets Kanon’s gaze, but her drummer friend looks away quickly. Misaki frowns, but before she can ponder about Kanon’s slightly odd behavior, her vision is suddenly clouded by Kokoro’s pajama clad self. She towers above Misaki, her ever-present smile shining in the dim light of the room. 

“ _Nee_ , Misaki,” Kokoro says, hands on her hips as she looks down on Misaki. “Do you want a hug too?”

“Ahahah…” Misaki says, nervously twirling a lock of hair around her fingers. “Don’t worry abou-- _oof_.”

Kokoro giggles after she’s dropped herself on top of Misaki, her body a warm weight on Misaki’s lap. Misaki tenses, feeling her cheeks begin to color with a blush she’s unable to fight off.

“Mmm,” Kokoro hums, tucking her head under Misaki’s chin. She snakes her arms around Misaki’s waist, squeezed between Misaki and the rubbery bean bag. Her nose is cold against Misaki’s neck. It might be the weight of Kokoro on top of her chest, but Misaki is finding it really hard to breathe at the moment.

“Had I known you were craving some physical affection, Misaki, I would have gladly provided some assistance in that area,” Kaoru says, gazing at Misaki with a teasing look in her eye. 

“Oh, no, Kaoru-san,” Kanon says, a sly tone wrapping around her words. “I don’t think you would have provided exactly what Misaki was craving.”

“Of course, you’re right,” Kaoru replies, her mouth curled into a soft grin, shooting Kanon a funny look. “After all, I’m not blonde--”

“Or yellow eyed--” Kanon interjects. 

_God_ , Misaki thinks, _am I that obvious?_

“Or an exceptional acrobat,” Kaoru continues, and Misaki’s red cheeks darken with each insinuation. Those two have been hanging out too much with Chisato-san lately, Misaki thinks. Their sly teasing has Shirasagi Chisato written all over it. 

“Huh?” Hagumi questions sleepily, lifting her head from Kanon’s shoulder. “Why would Mii-kun want an acrobat?”

Instead of replying, both Kaoru and Kanon burst into giggles, confusing Hagumi even further. Kokoro, meanwhile, seems completely oblivious to the conversation around her, still snuggled against Misaki. When Misaki looks down at her, she finds Kokoro with her eyes closed, and a small smile playing on her lips. The sight makes Misaki’s heart jump, which makes her panic a little, because surely, Kokoro can feel how erratically Misaki’s heart is beating, what with her head pressed against her chest and all.

“If only Michelle were here,” Kaoru says, changing the topic against Hagumi’s curiosity. “I, too, would have an exceptional cuddling partner.”

“Don’t you have Ushigome-san to call on those occasions?” Misaki says, finally relaxing a little in the teasing atmosphere. She allows herself to place a single arm over Kokoro’s waist, an action which seems to please the girl in Misaki’s arms as she curls in further closer still. 

In front of her, Kaoru’s own cheeks fill with a slight blush. “I would dare not bother my young lady at such hours of the night,” she replies, with her hand on her chest.

“Of course, of course,” Kanon says, nodding sagely.

“I’m sure Rimi-rin would come anyway,” Hagumi says. “She loves you very much, Kaoru-senpai.”

“Aww,” Kokoro coos softly, the only indication that she’s been paying some attention to the conversation.

“It is really late, though,” Misaki says after glancing at the clock. “We should probably get to bed, otherwise we won’t wake up tomorrow in time.”

Sure, the meeting with Roselia and the rest of the bands is until the afternoon. But it’s already nearing 2 a.m. and Misaki knows that getting Hello, Happy World ready for something takes at least three hours, with how often they get distracted. 

“What? No!” Hagumi exclaims, jumping up from Kanon’s lap. “You three still haven’t participated in the jumping challenge!”

“Hagumi--” Misaki starts, but she gets interrupted by Kanon of all people.

“Hagumi-chan is right,” Kanon says, standing up. Misaki shoots her a quizzical look, feeling both surprised and betrayed, since Kanon is usually the one to back her up, especially on bed time. But there’s a sort of strain behind the look in her eyes, Misaki thinks, as if Kanon wants to stretch the night as long as possible. But it might be the low lighting, so Misaki brushes it off.

Kokoro stirs in Misaki’s lap, pulling herself off her and placing her hands on Misaki’s shoulders. “You have to jump, Misaki!” she says, bright eyes on her.

“I don’t know…” Misaki says, feeling that her legs have numbed after supporting Kokoro for a while. “It’s really late, guys…”

“Ahh, but the night is still young!” Kaoru proclaims dramatically, also getting to her feet next to the bed. “A fleeting competition under the stars is something we should not back out of.”

“We’re under a ceiling,” Misaki mumbles, but she is completely ignored.

“I think I might jump higher than you, Misaki-chan,” Kanon challenges, a sassy eyebrow raised. “Or are you a coward?” 

Chisato-senpai has definitely corrupted her girlfriend, Misaki thinks, lamenting the loss of sweet, sweet Kanon-san. 

“Come on, Misaki,” Kokoro says, sliding her hands off Misaki’s shoulders until she reaches her wrists and squeezes. At that moment, Misaki knows she’s lost.

“All right, all right,” Misaki concedes, nudging Kokoro off her and then they all climb atop Kokoro’s massive bed.

“Let’s do this!” Hagumi says.

And all at once, with smiles on everyone’s faces, they cheer.

“Happy! Lucky! Smile! Yay!”

# 🍃

“So, the items on today’s agenda are the following,” Sayo is saying, clearing her throat. They’re all at CiRCLE, where there have been several tables set up in the empty venue in a large square. Everyone is present, from Roselia, Afterglow, Poppin’ Party, Harohapi, Pastel Palettes and even Raise a Suilen.

Misaki is a bit apprehensive, if she’s being honest, about being in such a large meeting. Thirty girls and Marina-san all getting together to plan CiRCLE’s New Years’ Live. Sometimes, Misaki feels, having too many voices in one room can be counterproductive to planning. She remembers how chaotic it was the first time they all got together to discuss the details of Girls Band Party. They haven’t planned something as big as this in a long time, but it definitely looks like Sayo has it under control. She has this very commanding presence, so people tend to pay attention when she speaks.

“First priority, we must decide on a name for the event. Secondly,” Sayo continues. “We must decide on an image, prices and a tentative starting time so that we can begin marketing the event as soon as possible.”

“The name must be _groundbreaking_ ,” Chu2 interrupts, saying the last word in English. “Raise a Suilen is performing, _after all_. We can’t be in an event that sounds lame, like _Girls’ Band Party._ ”

Misaki just rolls her eyes, noticing how the young producer ruffled a few feathers around the table. But most everyone knows Chu2’s antics by now, and a general gist of the dynamic in the experimental band, so Misaki wasn’t surprised by Lock-san commenting shyly in response.

“I-I liked Girls Band Party,” Lock says. “It sounded fun.” 

“It was fun!” Himari replies, nodding happily. “It was the first time we all worked together, remember?”

A few murmurs of assent and happy sighs run along the table. 

“Uehara-san, Tamade-san,” Sayo says. “I have not finished reading today’s agenda, so if you two don’t mind...”

“Of course, Sayo-san! Continue,” Himari says, speaking in a very dignified way as the leader of Afterglow.

Sayo nods, looking back to her notebook and speaks again. “We also need to schedule major rehearsals and further meetings, as the school year will only get busier. I’m sure a lot of third years will find it very useful to have such things scheduled ahead of time.”

“Is that it?” Hina asks from her seat. When Sayo nods, she grins and stands up. “I make a motion to start this discussion! I suggest the following names for our next live!”

“Motion approved,” Sayo says, motioning for her sister to speak, looking oddly proud of her sister following protocol. 

“Okay, Hina, let’s see what you got!” Kokoro interjects.

“ _Run run_ to the New Year! A Boppin’ New Year’s Party!”

“Hina-chan,” Chisato-senpai interrupts, placing a placating hand on the Hikawa’s arm. “Maybe you should read off the list we brought.”

“But those names are not fun,” Hina pouts.

“Popipa has some names, too!” Kasumi exclaims, waving a piece of paper with a list in the air. 

Misaki listens to the suggestions intently, participating every so often to veto some names, while watching Kokoro doodle ideas from the corner of her eye. 

“Psst, Misaki,” Kokoro whispers every so often, showing her the drawings of posters she’s been working on. “What do you think of this?”

It goes on for a little while, before they all decide to go with a pun suggested by Maya-san: “Live Show- _gatsu_ :* a sparkling New Year!” Some of Kokoro’s ideas get included into the draft of the poster, and everyone discusses their schedule for the next few months to find time for their meetings and rehearsals. The meeting goes on for around two hours, which is less than Misaki had expected it to go on for. She’s not complaining, though.

After Misaki stands up from her seat, she and the rest of Hello, Happy World gather to agree on their next band practice. Misaki then moves to gather all of her notes from the table to stuff inside her backpack. This is when she sees Rinko approaching.

“Okusawa-san,” Rinko starts in her usual quiet voice.

“Rinko-senpai!” Misaki greets, slinging her bag over her shoulders. “It was good to see you today.”

“You—you too,” Rinko says shyly. “I—I just wanted to ask. I’ll see you on Tuesday, right?”

“Yes,” Misaki nods. “5 p.m.”

“Good!” Rinko nods back. “Don’t forget... to dress warmly... It’s getting… really cold out.”

Misaki smiles fondly. “Take care of yourself, Rinko-senpai!”

“What’s happening on Tuesday?” Kokoro’s voice comes from right behind Misaki.

“Kokoro,” Misaki says, turning around. “I didn’t realize you were still here.”

Kokoro ignores the comment, only smiling at Misaki expectantly.

“Oh,” Misaki breathes out. “Tuesday, right.” She clears her throat. “It’s nothing.”

“Then what are you meeting Rinko for?” Kokoro asks, following Misaki to CiRCLE’s lobby with the last few stragglers.

“Nothing fun,” Misaki replies, fidgeting with the straps on her bag. 

“Oh,” Kokoro says, confused smile on her face, but her voice is still full of her customary cheer. “Alright! The suit people are waiting out. I’ll see you on Monday then! Bye, Misaki!”

She leaves the live house with a gust of wind, her golden hair dancing behind her. Misaki sighs, shifting uncomfortably on the spot, as she stares after Kokoro and feels a little guilt. She just… doesn’t wanna share about Tuesdays. 

To distract herself from the grip on her stomach, she sets herself to do something productive. She heads to the counter and talks to Marina-san about booking studio time, chatting with her for a little after she’s done.

“Oh, Misaki-chan!” Marina-san calls, just as Misaki is about to leave. “Just to confirm, you will be using the studio on Tuesday, right?”

“Yep,” Misaki says.

“Thanks,” Marina replies, getting engrossed in her scheduling book again. “...tta be careful not to double book...” she mumbles to herself.

The sun is beginning to set when Misaki finally leaves CiRCLE. A chilly breeze ruffles up her hair as she steps out. Misaki shivers, wishing she’d borrowed a scarf from Kokoro before they left the house that afternoon. They’d stayed up later than Misaki expected last night, right until the first rays of sunlight peeked from behind the mountains. So naturally, they woke up extremely late, no time to check the weather forecast.

Misaki heads to the cafeteria outside CiRCLE and orders herself a nice hot cup of tea and sits down at an empty table. She isn’t ready to head home yet, not to possible face an angry stepfather. So she stalls, watching the golden sunlight filter through the trees. Today, she’s watched a sunrise and a sunset. The fact makes something stir in Misaki’s chest. _Fleeting, isn’t it?_ she thinks, as a soft gust of wind rustles the trees, dropping some leaves in the light of the setting sun.

“Misaki-chan?” she hears Kanon’s voice from behind her, startling her.

“Kanon!” she says, dropping the usual honorific for the sake of surprise. “What are you still doing here?”

“Oh, Marina-san told me they added a new cake to the cafeteria menu! So Chisato-chan and I stayed later to try it out,” she explains. “Chisato-chan had to leave for an appointment, so…” She tilts her head and smiles. “I should be asking you the same, though.”

Misaki shrugs in reply. “You know.”

Kanon chuckles softly. Then she says, motioning, “Walk me home?”

“Sure,” Misaki says, picking up her backpack and standing up. Early on their friendship, Misaki found that Kanon lived near her, which was a blessing to Kanon and Misaki both. Since they can walk home together, Kanon can reach home without getting lost or Misaki worrying about it. It had become a habit of theirs, but lately their walks home have been happening less often, since Kanon tends to spend most evenings with her girlfriend. It’s the only time of the day Chisato’s most often free, so they have taken to walking home together as often as they can.

Today, their walk begins in silence. It’s not uncommon, though, since both girls can be really comfortable in silence as long as they’re enjoying each other’s company. It’s nice, usually, and they’re moments Misaki treasures. The quiet with her best friend.

But today feels a bit different, as if something is nagging both their minds but none of them has been able to articulate it. The silence feels deafening. The street lights flicker on, the first bright stars start to dot up the sky, and Misaki’s mind wanders. These past few days have been… off, if Misaki has to describe them. It’s felt like, as each day passes, something within Misaki has been building, scratching under her skin. She thinks of Otonusuke, of the unfinished song she’s supposed to write, of Kokoro, of the shadow in Kanon’s eyes last night, of the upcoming live…

“Misaki-chan?” Kanon speaks up. “Is there something on your mind?”

Misaki turns to look at Kanon, finding the older girl’s eyes already on her. Kanon looks curious and tentative, and her gaze makes Misaki want to squirm under the scrutiny.

“Oh, you know…” Misaki says, trying to shrug it off. “I’ve been kind of stuck on the new song.”

“We still have time before the live,” Kanon reassures. “You’ll get it. You always do.”

Misaki feels warm under the confidence in Kanon’s words, feeling some of the heaviness leave her chest. “I’m just kinda stressed, that’s all,” Misaki finds herself sharing. “This live feels important, doesn’t it?”

Kanon hums, assenting. So Misaki rambles on.

“The other day, Sayo-senpai came up to me. She’s really nervous about the show, you know? Like… it’s the last live before half of the people at CiRCLE graduate.” Misaki pauses, gulps down the uncomfortable lump in her throat. “Who knows what everyone will be doing after.”

“Ah,” Kanon says softly, coming to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk. “Misaki-chan… about that…”

Misaki freezes, and turns around to watch Kanon fidget under the light of the street lamp. 

“I haven’t told you what I plan on doing after graduating, right?” Kanon continues. 

Misaki shakes her head softly. Her eyebrows fold into a small frown. She notices how Kanon draws a deep breath in, as if steeling herself for something. 

“Chisato-chan and I… aremovingtoKyoto,” Kanon stumbles out. Her lips curve into a wobbly smile-- happy, sad and nervous, all at once.

“Kyoto?” Misaki repeats, unsure if she heard correctly.

“Yes!” Kanon nods and begins walking once more. Misaki follows behind her on instinct. “Chisato-chan got accepted into a good acting school there. She asked me to come with and… I said yes."

“Oh,” Misaki says, still feeling a bit shocked.Kanon’s behavior these past few days make more sense now. “You’re moving in with her?”

“Y-yes…” Kanon answers, cheeks coloring up. “I applied to Kyoto City University. I took the entrance exams and all. So, really, it depends on what they say…”

As the surprise is wearing off, Misaki becomes aware of the heavy rock that has been dropped on her stomach and of the sugary melancholic happiness that’s making her heart a bit lighter. It’s a weird feeling, being pulled apart by two opposing forces. The look on her friend’s eyes-- hopeful and vulnerable and happy--makes the lighter one win for the time being.

“Kanon-san,” Misaki says. “They’d be idiots if they don’t accept you.”

Beside her, Kanon relaxes a little. “You think so?” she asks.

“I know so,” Misaki replies, as they slow to a stop on Kanon’s street. She smiles at her friend, teasing. “You and Chisato-senpai’s apartment will be full of cake.”

Kanon giggles. “I’ll invite you over to help us get through our stash.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Misaki says, pointing a finger at Kanon.

“Good night, Misaki-chan,” Kanon says. “I’ll see you at school, yes?”

Misaki nods, waving at the older girl. “Night, Kanon-san.”

As soon as Kanon disappears inside her house, Misaki’s thundering heart propels her to a run. She has no idea why she’s running. No idea why her eyes are burning. Why she feels her head swimming, thoughts speeding past and some dragging on. She doesn’t give herself a chance to breathe until she gets to her street, almost skidding to a stop in front of her apartment complex. 

Misaki braces herself, hands on her knees as she catches her breath, her mind frozen on a single thought. With Kanon leaving...

Harohapi is over.

Harohapi is over. Harohapi is over. Harohapi is over. Harohapi is over.

Tears wet the pavement.

_Fleeting, indeed._

**Author's Note:**

> *shogatsu is japanese for new year. yeah. bad bun i'm highly uncreative. 
> 
> say hi on twitter! @harohapigays


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